I received an email from an old high school friend. She let me know she'd run into yet another "old high school" friend. Just so happens, he was my first boyfriend. (Ah, young love!) She sent his email address asked me to contact him. So I did. Sent him an email.
To my surprise, he answered. It's always neat renewing old friendships. I was amazed at the details of our friendship he remembered. Always the sweet guy, he found his way to greener pastures and I was left behind.
We chatted awhile, caught one another up on kids, and life choices and though he sounded okay, there was a sense of loneliness about him. I thought about the times I've felt that same loneliness, especially when I look over some of the decisions I'd made through the years. I thought I'd thought them through. But I imagine, I like most, suffered the effects of decisions made from immaturity.
It was C. S. Lewis who said, "Experience is a brutal teacher and my God, we learn. My God, we learn." Wise man, that Mr. Lewis.
We've all made choices that cost us. Things that look good at the time but prove to be massive mistakes in the aftermath, but that's where the life lessons come into play. What's the old saying, "Live and learn?"
My old friend had a sense of sadness about him with the decisions he'd made in the past. Awe, he didn't say the words, "I made a mistake" but hinted at the loneliness of his past. It was apparent.
The life lessons we learn come as a result of our choices. And though they don't always have an immediate effect, they eventually catch up to us. I've learned over the years--taken my share of life lumps, but I've always tried to look into my mistakes and find the "good" part of the lesson as well.
Christ must have wondered about His decision to carry the cross to Calvary. There had to be a point, when beaten beyond human recognition, that He wondered why? We can only assume to think He had 2nd thoughts. I don't think He did. But I had to wonder if Christ knew His suffering would be in vain for some. For those who refuse to look at His life lessons, at His example.
He paid the price for us--didn't regret it either. Instead He pleaded for our forgiveness. It's still hard to wrap your head around. Isn't it?
It was nice talking to an old friend--rethinking the choices I'd made as a teen. Reviewing the direct decisions that moved my life or halted it. I hope my friend finds peace and happiness. I hope he gets past the decisions he's made in the past. In the mean time, I'll think on life lessons I've learned and the roads that I could have taken, but didn't.
I'm fortunate. Fortunate to recognize the experiences of my past shoved me straight into the arms of Christ. C. S. Lewis was right. "Experience is a brutal teacher. My God how we learn." My God, how you teach me.