Wednesday, November 02, 2011

But If Only for a Minute - She Said

Therefore this is what the LORD says: “If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman…Jeremiah 15:19 NIV 

If but only for a minute, I thought. Only a minute, can I speak with grace. I waited my turn to do a 5-minute tape recorded presentation
God knows me and my mouth. He also knows my naivety and I have to wonder, since He does know these things…why He doesn’t always open my eyes. I’d sat and listened quietly at the stories of 23 amazing women. I could see where their stories came from and how they could make motivational and inspired talks. What I didn’t know …was my story.

I’d planned something humorous. A true story from an eldercare visit but in my naivety I didn’t see it might not be the right presentation for that particular moment and when I found out from loving friends it wasn’t…I was not only embarrassed but at a loss.

I guess I’ll close myself into the closet upstairs and work through the night, I thought. So I did. I closed myself inside a small closet away from everyone with my Bible and a blank sheet of paper that lay, untouched, all night. My mind was blank. Fear closed in around me. Failure seemed imminent.

The women at this speakers conference were amazing. My life had been somewhat mundane compared to theirs. I felt so undeserving…unworthy to stand in their presence. God had worked wonders in their lives and though I knew He’d done great things for me, nothing seemed to “top” what I’d heard.

“God do you want me to be a speaker?” I asked. “Cuz’ I’m not doin’ so hot.”

The minutes turned in to hours and before long morning had come. There I still sat without a presentation.
“God,” I said. “I need to do this presentation. I got nothing. Nadda. I’m up second to speak. The words I had were wrong. I’m sorry. All I can do is trust when I stand in front of this group, You will speak.” I folded my paper in half and tore it into four pieces. They were blank…waiting for God to print on the page.
If but only for a minute, I prayed, can I speak with grace. My name was called and I laid the four blank papers on the small table. “But if only for a minute,” I whispered. “Grace.”

That’s the amazing thing about God. Sometimes He makes us wait to the ultimate last moment. But He promised He’d restore us…me… so I could serve Him and if I uttered worthy words, I could be His spokesman. My pages were blank but as the cue to speak came, my heart was filled.

Graceful words slipped from my mouth, gentle gestures, strong phrases and articulate sentences. I, me…Cindy…just opened my mouth and God allowed me to be His spokesman.

I learned this week, we’re all His spokesmen. He’s given us all a story to tell. Some amazing while others are steadfast, but until we utter them as worthy words, they cannot be heard and others cannot be touched.
Look for your story. Find it and then “Oh, but if only for a minute, speak with grace.” God will bless.

P.S. I AM A SPEAKER. Do you need one for an event?